I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
