is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
