You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
