I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
