brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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