whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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