but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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