Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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