That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
