There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
