i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize