Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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