it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
