dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
