He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
