Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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