the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
