i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
