yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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