the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
