I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
