I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
