Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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