Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
