It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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