just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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