You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
