This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
