There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
