Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
