come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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