do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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