he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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