Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
