I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize