You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
