What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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