Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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