We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
its liver damage thursday
Randomize