More tranny stories later!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
