I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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