Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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