I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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