problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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