what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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