I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Pants are for mortals
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
