Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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