there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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