its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
