Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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