She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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