I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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