If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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