whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
