Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
worst night to have a conscience
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
