Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
