I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
