Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I will be naked everywhere
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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