They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
