so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize