She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize