HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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