someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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