mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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