i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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