I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
