we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
