we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
